Memoirs of an ADHD Mom

Kate SM1Join in the conversation with Kate, a real ADHD mom, as she describes her relationship experiences...

I'm a bit hesitant to write on the relationship topic, but as we close in on Valentine's Day, I thought I would share some of my relationship experiences. I know I'm going to get blasted for being selfish, but I'll take a deep breath and get it over with

If you and I were on one of those speed dates, and you asked me if I'd make a good partner in a relationship, the short answer would have to be a resounding Now, if you wanted a second date with me, and we had time to dig a little deeper, here are the things I would have to disclose.

I will only worry about ME. I will only get ME through the day. It takes an incredible amount of energy for someone with ADHD to focus on what they need to do to have a semi-successful day. I will not have enough energy to worry about you too, so don't...

Memoirs of an ADHD Mom

Kate SM1Kate, a real ADHD mom really could use some suggestions...

Like many of you, I didn't grow up knowing I had ADHD. I went through the same struggles you did, and like you, I naturally figured out ways to cope without even being aware of what I was doing.

I started thinking of all the things I do in my every day that help me live with ADHD. I may lose you here, as some of them are just plain weird, but I'll lay it all out there in hopes of finding people who relate and in hopes of getting more out of the box suggestions on how you cope with your ADHD.

(I'll start with the disclaimer that's yes, I know all about list making and post it notes. I'm a brilliant list maker. However, once I complete number one on my list, the novelty has worn off and the list is forgotten. And Post-its are just too much work).

I notice I buy clothes in neutral colors. Black, tan, etc.mix and match stuff. No...

Memoirs of an ADHD Mom

Kate SM1Join Kate, a real life ADHD mom, as she announces her New Year's resolution. Bring it on Kate!

"I recently learned that social skills is one of those things we ADHD adults can have difficulty with. When I think about whether or not this applies to me, I see that it does. So based on that, here is my New Year's resolution. I can do this!

New Years Resolution 2016

I resolve to listen to actually listen when people are talking- not listen to respond listen to hear and understand. I resolve to stop thinking of what I am going to say and to not interrupt everyone mid-sentence. I resolve to remain quiet, focus on what the other person is saying and let them complete their thought even though the impulse to finish their sentences for them is unnaturally strong. I resolve to be patient with 'slow talkers'. I resolve to stop doing something else when someone is talking to me, to be still and...

Memoirs of an ADHD Mom

Kate, a real ADHD mom, shares her positive spin on her ADHD.Kate SM1

So, as I sat down to write Things I Hate about having ADHD, I made the (impulsive) decision to honor the upcoming Valentine holiday and put a different spin on it How about Things I Love About Having ADHD? I surprised myself when I started writing. It wasn't too far of a stretch to take the negatives and pull the positives out. It made my day a little brighter! So here they Things I LOVE about having ADHD:

  1. I have the most amazing imagination! If I could only sit still and focus long enough to write or tell all the stories and ideas in my head! You'd be amazed!
  1. I laugh at myself every day. I find myself super funny and enjoy my own company.
  1. I don't worry about long term consequences. I enjoy the moment.
  1. I'm super flexible. If something goes unexpectedly wrong, I am the master of go with the flow. You could just...

Memoirs of an ADHD Mom

Kate SM1Join Kate, a real ADHD mom, as she ruminates over her visit at her parents house for Christmas.

I write this today as a 44 year old woman visiting her parents' house for Christmas.  You wouldn't think these feelings would arise at this point in my life, but they do. Every time.

I have no desire, at this point in my life, for my parents to come to the realization that some of my behavior (both past and present) is, and was a result of ADHD, not incompetence, laziness or foolishness (this is the mature me speaking).

The immature me still gets SO FRUSTURATED when I visit my folks at the holidays. I know they think I'm a wreck. It's in the way they look at me and roll their eyes. It's in the way they speak to me the way I know their expectations of me are lower than my siblings.

Here's what drives me ABSOLUTELY batty - I know they think I just don't try as hard as my older brother...

Memoirs of an ADHD Mom

Kate SM1Join Kate, a real-life ADHD mom, as she explains her resolution to be a better listener...

Last week I resolved to be a better listener. I reviewed all the rules smile, nod, look the person in the eye, murmur,"Umhmm," once in a while, etc OKAY! I can do this!

Well friends, I really CAN do all that. I can smile and nod and APPEAR to be listening to you, but my darn brain resists actual listening like Luke resists the dark side.

Here's what's really going on inside my head while you are talking and I am nodding with that foolish smile on my face: I find the edge of the paper you are holding interesting, the way the carpet feels under my feet fascinating, the way the sunlight makes patterns on the wall intriguing. While you are talking, I am wondering how many ceiling tiles there are, how the pencil eraser will taste if I lick it just a little, and counting and recounting all of the...